New Year – new perspective
I have not made a new years resolution ON new years day for so long. I have always made a spring resolution. It always felt more natural to start the spring with a new set of goals.
I have made the usual.
Loose Weight
Eat Better
Give more time to my kids
Give more time to myself
Help others.
This year, after listening and noticing moms around me, I have made a new years resolution, for new years. Each day when I go out for a coffee, visit a mom group, chat with a feature business mom – I remind myself of this simple resolution.
Do not judge other moms and dads.
It sounds simple but you may be surprised how hard it is.
Having a play day at the mall with friends, another mom begins to nurse a toddler. Right away, there is a gasp from our group and a comment on hold old is that child!! Can you imagine!!??
The next day at my regular playgroup – a new mom pulled out a bottle to give to her beautiful, healthy baby boy. You guessed it – soon a whisper on “didn’t take her long to quit nursing”
Why as moms, do we seem to need to justify hurting another mom’s feeling and judging her decisions on how to parent?
I am not innocent in all this judging. I used to do it as well. Sometimes with just a look, sometimes to another mom and sometimes, I save my rant for my husband. In fact, I didn’t even notice myself doing it for the longest time. It’s taken me 5 years of parenting and 3 children before I started to notice beyond the obvious.
The incident that really made me decide on my resolution happened at a local bookstore. It was before Christmas and the store was packed! I was browsing the cooking books in my usual spot when a mom with two small children came down my isle looking for a gift. Everyone was tired. Tired of shopping and tired of all the people.
Finally the little girl decided to throw a fit. I don’t blame her. If it was acceptable for adults to have tantrums – I would have been beside her that day.
The mom calmly knelt down and told her that screaming would not help and if she needed a minute, she could sit there. The mom kept herself quiet and calm as I watched over my book. She then told the daughter if she got up, they would get the last present and they could all go home and relax.
Of course the little girl cried for a while – then finally gave up and off they went.
I knew right away, most people only saw a little kid have a fit. They probably wondered why the mom didn’t just rush her out of the store. I would have thought that before my children too. What I saw now, was a very strong mom. One who kept her calm and was being a wonderful mom in the situation.
This new year – join me in my resolution to not judge other parents so much. It will be hard. As other moms and parents, we need to be there for each other – even if it’s just by not giving dirty looks and quiet whispers behind each others back.
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Great post. I made a similar resolution!